


We've Only Begun

by littlbunnybun



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, References to Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-08-12 15:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7940149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlbunnybun/pseuds/littlbunnybun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking place shortly after Super Watermelon Island and Gem Drill, Peridot and Amethyst are still in the early stages of their new relationship. But with a recent addition to the team, a new fusion, and a revelation from Amethyst, their bond may be put to the test. Sequel to “Close to Her”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Relief

“We did it!” Amethyst screamed, running over to her girlfriend. She collided with Peridot, nearly knocking her over in the process, and wrapping her in a tight hug. 

Peridot chuckled in the other gem’s arms. She stayed like that for a moment, feeling very accomplished and comforted. Then, pulling away to look at her, she sighed with relief. She gently cupped Amethyst’s face in her hands. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Amethyst smiled. “You too.”

She, Garnet, and Pearl had just defeated Malachite off the shores of Mask Island. With Steven’s help (embodying one of his sentient watermelons), they had been able to defeat her. Lapis and Jasper were finally defused, and it looked like things were finally going to be okay for the team. But soon after, the Earth shook as the Cluster had begun to take its form. The Crystal Gems lost Jasper, none of them able to save her as she disappeared into the earth.

While the three were stranded on the island, Peridot and Steven drilled miles into the Earth, trying to destroy the Cluster before it was too late. But with Steven’s help, the gem shards were able to bubble each other. This seemed to be enough to pacify the massive forced-fusion for the time being.

So while their respective missions had not gone completely as planned, there was still plenty to celebrate. 

The two gems went in for another quick hug before Amethyst had an idea. “Wait, hold on,” she told her.

Peridot eyed her curiously, then made a little surprised noise as Amethyst scooped her up off her feet and into her arms.

Amethyst held her securely, with one arm under her legs and the other supporting her upper back. She chuckled, finding Peridot to be very lightweight. She used to lifting things that were much heavier, so holding her like this was no problem.

They beamed at each other for a moment. Then, Amethyst began spinning, running around in circles, whooping and hollering with joy. Meanwhile, Peridot clung onto her neck for security while she giggled at her girlfriend’s antics.

At a distance, Steven laughed as he watched them. It warmed his heart to see them both so happy. Both gems had been through much recently and had come out victorious. 

He glanced over at Garnet and Pearl standing nearby. Rather than her usual stern expression, Garnet looked rather amused watching them. Pearl rolled her eyes in response to the younger gems, but found she couldn’t help but smile at the cute and comical scene.

 

Later that evening, Peridot and Amethyst were finally able to rest after their very long and eventful day. Seated on the couch in the barn loft, the two were nestled together on the couch. Peridot had her head on Amethyst’s lap. Everything was quiet and still, save for the TV glowing in the darkness. 

Amethyst offered to get some of the Little Butler tapes she had stored in her room, hoping to get Peridot into the show. But the green gem had declined, preferring to watch reruns of Camp Pining Hearts instead. 

Amethyst didn’t mind. She always felt content with her girlfriend snuggled up to her. Rather than paying attention to the show, she gazed at Peridot, not able to get her mind off how cute she was being. She’s so warm and soft, like a little kitten, or something, she thought to herself. She would have to tell Peridot about that comparison at some point. Her reaction would probably be hilarious.

As they rested like this, the purple gem’s mind started to wander. The characters on Camp Pining Hearts were participating in a three-legged race. For whatever reason, this reminded her of something that happened between her and Peridot just that morning.

They had fused for the first time.

Shortly after this happened, she heard their names being called in the distance. They unfused and went off to join the others. The whole thing had happened fairly quickly, even though it felt like a long time. And after all that was going on with Malachite and the Cluster during the day, they didn’t really have a chance to discuss what had happened.

Amethyst thought this was as good a time as any to talk about it, but she decided to wait until Peridot’s show was over to bring it up. 

By the time the credits rolled, she could tell her girlfriend was starting to doze off in her lap.  
“Hey Pear,” Amethyst spoke, nudging her softly. Peridot seemed to rouse a little, making a slight groan of annoyance. “Um, so are we gonna talk about it?”

Peridot opened her eyes, focusing on the screen. “Talk about what?” she responded sleepily.

“Our fusion.”

It took a second for her to recall what Amethyst was talking about, but when she did, Peridot’s eyes widened. She rolled over in her lap, looking up at her girlfriend wordlessly as the show’s ending music continued to play in the background. 

Her mind flashed back to the teal-skinned fusion they had created. Though they had been together for such a short time, being fused with Amethyst was an experience she had trouble putting into words. Together, they had been strong and powerful, everything Peridot wasn’t on her own. But their fusion had been everything that Peridot was as well. 

But most of all, Peridot could remember feeling completely synchronized with Amethyst. She felt the culmination of her and Amethyst’s love for one another. And she had never experienced a greater feeling.

Peridot got up to face her. “It was…” she began. She carefully thought of the right word, one that would do it justice. “…amazing.”

“I know, right?” Amethyst exclaimed, sitting up. “It just felt…really great! Like we were so in-tune with each other. None of my other fusions are really like that.” 

“They aren’t?”

“Nope,” Amethyst said. She thought of how she felt when fused as Opal, Alexandrite, and even Sugilite. They were all great fusions in their own ways, and she loved forming them with her teammates. But for some reason, she had never felt as nearly as stable as she did while fused with Peridot. 

She tried to explain it so that Peridot would understand. “Every fusion is a little different. I guess it sorta depends on your relationship with the other gem,” Amethyst said.

Peridot considered this. She didn’t have much knowledge of fusions involving different types of gems. She had spent most of her life in alliance with Homeworld, where the practice of different gems fusing was unheard of.

Garnet, of course, was the most prevalent example of a fusion who came to mind. Her relationship was ideal, and probably quite similar to hers and Amethyst’s, based on what little she knew about Ruby and Sapphire.

Then, she thought of Lapis and Jasper’s fusion. Their relationship was based on anger and hatred, which would explain why Malachite was so dangerous. “I guess that would make sense,” she replied.

There was a silence between them. Amethyst yawned and slumped back onto the couch. Peridot pondered whether or not to ask her about something she had been wondering about.

“So…what was her name?” she finally asked. She felt silly, not knowing how this process went exactly. She didn’t know whether or not she was supposed to know the name of their fusion automatically, or the name was something they came up with themselves.

“Hm, I dunno,” Amethyst responded. “Guess we’ll have to try it again sometime and find out.”

Peridot immediately perked up. It was late at night. Steven was asleep, and the others were off doing their own things. The only one nearby was Lapis, but she was still unconscious. No one was there to interrupt them. “How about right now?” she suggested.

Amethyst stretched tiredly, yawning again. “Sorry, I think I can do another fusion today.”

Though she was trying to hide it, Peridot was a little let down. “Oh, I see.”

Amethyst picked up on this right away. “Hey, it’s okay though. We can do it again some other time,” she assured her. 

Peridot nodded in understanding. Amethyst looped an arm around her and hugged her closely. Then, to Peridot’s surprise, she planted a small kiss on her nose. The strange look Peridot gave her afterwards was priceless, and Amethyst couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Peridot, finding her laughter contagious, soon joined in as well.

Once they had settled down, Amethyst went over to the TV, picking up the next VHS tape in the pile. “Okay, you up for another episode?”

“Yes!” Peridot responded enthusiastically.

Once Amethyst put the episode in and it began to play, she joined Peridot back on the couch. They cuddled up once again, glad to be in the other’s warm embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this floofy first chapter. Can you tell I wrote a lot of this during the Amethyst angst arc? I wanted to make it really nice because I felt bad for my smol purble. Anyway this story will have an actual plot, I promise!


	2. Watching

On a warm evening in late summer, Lapis Lazui sat atop her silo, overlooking the countryside. Crickets and bugs had started to make their familiar evening sounds. The sky was changing color, turning a shade of orange-pink as the sun lowered in the distance. It was all so predictable, and clear that this had become a nightly ritual for her. She sighed. She was feeling many things about her new life on this planet, though mostly she felt exhausted. 

Having spent most of her life a prisoner, one would think she would be overjoyed to be free. But Lapis simply wanted to go home. Back to the only home she knew, on Homeworld. But the Homeworld she knew no longer existed. The planet had advanced so much in 5,000 years that it was almost unrecognizable. And it was a place Lapis could never return to, knowing what she did to Jasper, one of their most honored soldiers.

Steven did his best to help her, showing her the different places on the planet where she could live. Earth wasn’t as terrible as she had originally thought, so it seemed. Eventually, Lapis decided to stay in Steven’s storage barn. 

To her dismay, however, she found someone already staying there: Peridot. The very same gem who had interrogated her and dragged her back to this planet.

Lapis was angry. She was outraged at the prospect of living with her captor. The two had a difficult start, but Steven asked her to at least try to get along with Peridot. After some initial conflict, Lapis decided to make the best of her predicament. She made an effort not to be so harsh towards Peridot anymore. She reminded herself that she was doing this for Steven, as well as for her own mental state.

Thinking about the events of the past few days and what lay ahead, Lapis rested there, her knees tucked up beneath her long skirt. She wasn’t sure what Earth had in store for yet. She didn’t know what her new life would be like on this planet, and she wasn’t overly optimistic about it.

Then, through the warm and hazy air, Lapis could hear the low murmur of voices. Peering out into the distance, she saw none other than Peridot coming towards the barn from the direction of the Crystal Temple. Amethyst was with her. They chatted and laughed, walking together side-by-side.

Lapis found Peridot’s new alliance with the Crystal Gems surprising, to say the least. Peridot had, like her, undoubtedly spent thousands of years serving the Diamonds. She spent at least hundreds working on the Cluster, the geoweapon meant to destroy the Earth. Then, she had abandoned it all in a matter of months to begin working with the enemy. Lapis could hardly imagine why.

As the two smaller gems entered the barn, Lapis flew swiftly and silently onto the top of the structure. She knelt down, able to discern their forms through the slats of the roof. She liked to watch and listen to the others, when they were around. A spy by nature, she just couldn’t help it. It was a good way to pass the time. Plus, Peridot and Amethyst were a strange pair of gems, she thought, which made them entertaining to watch.

Below, Peridot shuffled through some of the rummage that was collected in the barn. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Have I shown you these?” She held a pair of old paint cans with flames painted on the sides.

“Nope. What are they?” Amethyst asked.

“Steven made them for me,” Peridot said. She knelt down, tying the paint cans to the bottoms of her feet. Standing up, the paint cans gave her a little boost in height. She started strolling around the barn, showing off a bit.

Amethyst laughed. “Wooow, look at you!”

Lapis snorted quietly above them.

“Now I can reach any snacks you might need,” Peridot announced proudly.

Amethyst grinned. “You’re such a dork, Peri,” she commented. “Like I can’t do that kind of stuff on my own.”

“I know,” the green gem said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I just thought it would be nice.”

Lapis looked at them strangely. She found Peridot to be a bit odd, certainly unlike any gem of her kind she had encountered back on Homeworld. The way she acted when she was with Amethyst was especially strange, however. She was always trying to impress her. And Amethyst, who acted rough-and-tumble with the other gems, was kind of different when she was alone with Peridot. She showed a more caring, gentler side.

It was almost like they were…flirting?

“How am I supposed to smooch you when you’re all the way up there?” Lapis heard Amethyst say. She focused back on the small quartz gem, now standing on her toes, pretending to struggle until Peridot leaned down to give her a quick peck on the lips.

Lapis’ eyes widened.

“It feels good to have the extra height sometimes,” Peridot said as she wandered around the barn a little more. “Makes me think of my old limb enhancers.” She tripped suddenly, about to fall, but Amethyst caught her.

The purple gem chuckled, still holding onto her. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Peridot said, looking up at her sheepishly.

Amethyst smiled down at her. “You don’t need any enhancers,” she said. “I like you just how you are.” She held her closely and planted a kiss on her gem. Peridot giggled as she clung onto her as well.

This surprised Lapis, and made her a bit confused.

After that, Amethyst helped Peridot get the paint cans off her feet. The two smaller gems exchanged goodbyes. In the barn’s doorway, Peridot stood, waving to Amethyst and watching her leave.

Lapis observed the scene for a few moments longer. The two definitely had a different dynamic than they did with the other gems. She was curious about it. Deciding now would be as good a time as any to swoop down off the roof, she landed quietly on the ground, just a few steps behind her roommate.

Lapis announced herself nonchalantly. “Peridot.”

Startled, Peridot turned to face her. “Oh. Hello, Lapis.”

Lapis uncrossed her arms, trying not to seem so confrontational. “So, uh, what did you do today?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing much,” Peridot said, still a little on-edge. “Amethyst and I did some things around Beach City with Steven.”

Peridot was clearly still nervous around her. She did, after all, break her beloved tape recorder the other day. She defended her from the invading Rubies almost immediately after, but the two weren’t exactly to the point of being warm and fuzzy around each other just yet.

After some awkward silence, the blue gem cleared her throat. “You and Amethyst seem...close,” she observed. “Like you spend a lot of time together.”

Peridot chuckled uncomfortably. “Well she is my girlfriend.”

Lapis looked puzzled. “Girlfriend?”

Peridot was already prepared with an explanation. “A ‘girlfriend’ is an affectionate name for a romantic partner of one’s choosing here on Earth. You see...”

Lapis was only half-listening, quickly understanding what Peridot was getting at. What she was referring to was not typical on Homeworld. In fact, it was strictly banned. In the past few decades that Lapis spent stored away in Pearl’s gem, she had a glimpse into the outside world. She knew that things were clearly different on this planet.

Lapis held up her hands to silence her. “It’s okay, I think already know what you’re talking about.”

Peridot was taken aback. “You do?”

“Yes,” Lapis said. She considered her words carefully, trying to think of what exactly she wanted to ask. “But Peridot...why would you want to do that?” She added a bit more quietly, almost embarrassed, “That isn’t _allowed_.”

Peridot looked at her strangely. “Excuse me?”

“You know what I mean,” Lapis responded, slightly uncomfortably. “The things you’ve been doing with Amethyst. The way you two are so…affectionate and _touchy_ with each other.” She knew the words came out more snidely than she meant them to, but she didn’t care. “What would Yellow Diamond think?”

Peridot immediately got defensive. “Perhaps you missed this, Lazuli, but I’m a Crystal Gem now. I don’t take orders from Homeworld or the Diamonds anymore!”

Lapis blinked. “…But still,” she disputed. Surely Peridot must have some sense left in her, she thought. “That might be what they do on Earth, or on other planets we conquer, but it’s wrong. That’s not what we were made for.” 

She didn’t know why any self-respecting gem would subject themselves to that. It was so...primitive. It was shameful. And for some reason, just talking about it was affecting Lapis deeply, in a way she could not really explain.

“There’s nothing wrong with it!” Peridot exclaimed angrily.

Lapis was feeling tempted to lash out as well, but tried to compose herself. “We’re from Homeworld,” she said. “We’re nothing like the Crystal Gems. You’ve only been here a few months, and suddenly you trust everything they tell you?”

“No, it’s not like that!” Peridot argued. She sighed. “Listen, I think the Diamonds were lying to us about not forming close relationships with other gems.” She paused. Blushing lightly, she was clearly getting a little flustered. “Because Amethyst is the best thing that’s ever happened to me…I love her.”

“Love?” Lapis repeated, giving a little half-hearted chuckle. She didn’t know why this topic was getting her so heated, or why she could feel her hands shaking at this point. She tried not to overthink it. Her voice came out quiet and cold. “Love is pointless.”

She turned away, and everything was silent for a few moments.

“Lapis?” Peridot said behind her.

The blue gem didn’t respond, instead taking a few steps away from her. Summoning her wings, she shot up into the sky. Her mind was frenzied, and she needed to cool down. 

And though she was finally free, she felt even more alone than she did before.


	3. Convergence

Despite sharing a living space, Peridot and Lapis didn’t speak to each other for days. 

Lapis spent a lot of time out exploring, while Peridot mostly occupied herself working on things around the barn that needed to be fixed. When they did cross paths, they quietly avoided the other, and kept going on about their days.

One night, Peridot lay in the barn loft, inches away from her small TV. She was re-watching a favorite episode of Camp Pining Hearts, one with a lot of good Percy and Pierre interaction she loved to analyze and perhaps over-analyze. She had probably seen it hundreds of times. But she didn’t care. It was a good way to pass the time until Amethyst came to visit tomorrow. Plus, whether or not she admitted it, watching her favorite show helped get her mind off of her roommate situation.

As the credits rolled, she groaned and moved out of her rather uncomfortable position on the floor so that she was sitting up. Her mind, unfortunately, had already started to wander back to her situation with Lapis. Though she was hurt by the way Lapis talked about her relationship, strangely understood where she was coming from. A few months ago, she had been in her shoes: on a strange planet that was very different from home, in contact with gems who refused to obey Homeworld. It was exactly the kind of thing she used to think. She knew it would probably take Lapis some time to adjust to life on the new planet.

But deep down, she was a little worried. Peridot feared that being around Lapis might make her succumb to her old ways again. She was afraid of turning her back on what mattered most to her now: the Crystal Gems. Unlike Amethyst, who had emerged on this planet and spent thousands of years here, Peridot had only been with them for a few months. The conformity of Homeworld was essentially programmed into her for thousands of years, from the time she had emerged. She wasn’t sure what she might be capable of. 

“Um…hey, Peridot.”

The green gem startled at the voice and light swooshing sound from behind her. Lapis had returned from her explorations, and now stood a few feet behind her in the loft.

Peridot didn’t respond.

Lapis rubbed her arm awkwardly. She stepped up closer to the lighted screen. “I’ve kind of been wondering…what is this thing? You seem to use it a lot.”

Peridot sighed in annoyance. “It’s called a television, or _TV_ for short,” she explained flatly, still mostly focused on the show. “It’s an entertainment device for humans. I mostly use it to watch Camp Pining Hearts.”

“Oh,” said Lapis, sitting down beside her. “Do you mind if I watch with you?”

Peridot considered this for a moment. “I guess not,” she replied. “Though you may want to start with season one.”

“Okay...I don’t know what that is,” Lapis admitted.

Getting up from her spot on the floor, Peridot went over to retrieve season one of the Camp Pining Hearts DVD set Steven had very kindly given her.

From there, Peridot began the series over for Lapis, starting with episode one. Tensions between them quickly dissipated, and Peridot found she was in a much better mood. She couldn’t help being enthusiastic sharing her show with someone. Plus it was fun to have someone to listen to her observations and theories.

Peridot was in the midst of pausing and replaying a scene, pointing out some of the clever subtext to Lapis, when Amethyst arrived.

“Hey,” Amethyst greeted as she entered the barn loft. “What are you guys up to?”

Peridot stopped mid-sentence, slightly confused. “Hi Amethyst, I’m glad to see you, but I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow.”

“Uh, it’s Saturday, isn’t it? Wasn’t that the plan?” 

Peridot glanced outside, seeing that the sun was up. “Hm, I guess it is. Sorry, I was just showing Lapis some episodes of Camp Pining Hearts. I must have lost track of time.”

Amethyst chuckled, turning to Lapis. “Lucky you, huh?”

“Actually it’s pretty good,” Lapis replied, sitting there contentedly. “I’ve been learning a lot about humans. Plus, Peridot’s been telling me things about Earth that I didn’t know about.”

“Huh, that’s cool,” Amethyst remarked. “You ready to go, Peri?”

“Yes,” she replied, quickly turning to the blue gem. “I’ll see you later, Lapis. Amethyst and I are going on a ‘date.’” She said the last word with air quotes. Amethyst snickered.

“Oh, okay,” Lapis responded, suddenly quiet again. Peridot took note of her reaction. “Well, I guess I’ll see you two later then.”

The two climbed down from the loft, waving goodbye to Lapis as they left. She watched them for a minute. Frowning, she realized that she was alone with her thoughts once again. 

_Maybe I’ll watch some more of that show_ , she considered.

 

It was a beautiful sunny afternoon. Peridot and Amethyst’s date mostly involved wandering around to different places in Beach City. They saw a number of different humans while they were out. Amethyst seemed to know many of them, at least by name. Peridot also watched her eat a variety of food items throughout the day. Amethyst had, of course, offered to share. But Peridot declined.

Near the end of the afternoon, the two walked from the busy boardwalk down to the beach. They plopped down in the sand, facing the ocean. Amethyst was finishing up some chili cheese fries as Peridot told her about her recent troubles with Lapis.

“You can always move in to the temple with us,” Amethyst offered, setting the fries aside as she laid back on the sand. “You can even stay in my room.” 

Amethyst had made this offer a couple times previously, not understanding exactly why Peridot had opted to stay in the barn. Especially with Lapis. 

Trying to overlook the fact that she had attacked them using her water powers, Amethyst thought Lapis was okay. Several months ago, she reminded herself, Peridot had tried to kill them as well. But she turned out be pretty cool and even became Amethyst’s girlfriend. Steven seemed to see the good in Lapis, despite all she had done. But based on the negative things Peridot told her about her roommate, Amethyst was beginning to like her less and less.

“Thanks,” Peridot said, lying next to her in the warm sand. She appreciated the offer, and was close to considering it at times. She couldn’t explain it to Amethyst, but the barn felt more like home to her than anywhere else. Amethyst’s room didn’t really feel like her own space. Plus, deep down, she suspected that she would be spending too much time with her girlfriend if they lived together, and that they might get on each other’s nerves.

They lay there for a while longer, with Amethyst lightly dozing off. Suddenly, she thought she could hear music in the distance. Opening her eyes, she sat up and glanced around. Sure enough, down the beach, there seemed to be some kind of live performance going on.

“Hey, let’s go check it out,” she announced, eagerly leading Peridot by the hand.

Peridot trailed after her as they headed over to see the live band. The music was loud, playing some upbeat, pop-rock beachy tunes. Other people from the town were there, enjoying the band and dancing.

“Aw, yes!” Amethyst quickly got swept up in the sights and sounds. “Dance with me, Peri!” she said, grabbing her hand again.

The green gem chuckled, quickly giving in to her girlfriend. She had only danced a couple of times prior in her whole life, and that had only been with Amethyst. She felt a little self-conscious, knowing there were crowds of people here with them this time.

She was a little uncertain at first, and kept stumbling awkwardly. Amethyst noticed this and quickly grabbed her, placing her hands on her hips and moving in closely her. Peridot blushed, but felt strangely more secure this way and started to move along with her.

Once Peridot had found her rhythm, Amethyst began dancing apart from her. She started showing off a little, putting her own signature moves on things. Peridot giggled. Going over to her, she cupped her face in her hands. She gazed at her, stroking lightly across her cheek with her thumb. Amethyst wrinkled her nose, giggling in response.

They had nearly stopped dancing, taking a moment just to hold onto each other. Peridot leaned in closer so she could hear her. “Do you want to fuse?”

“Yes!” Amethyst exclaimed enthusiastically. Peridot smiled, turning slightly to give Amethyst a smooch on the side of her head.

With hands still on each other, they resumed dancing, trying to maintain closeness however possible. Together, they moved to the music until their gems slowly began to glow.

_Yes! Here it comes_ , thought Peridot. The familiar light began to envelop both of them. She didn’t know about Amethyst, but she could hardly contain her excitement.

As they began to take on their new form, both could quickly tell it was rather unstable. It was nothing like the last time. Then the light disappeared, sending them both flying backwards into the sand.

Peridot sat up. “Ow.”

Amethyst growled. “We almost had it!” she said. “Okay, let’s just keep going.”

So they did. They danced until what remained of the day became night. The band finished playing, packed up their things, and left. The crowds dissipated. But the two gems kept dancing, albeit much more tiredly and with less vigor than before.

“I don’t think this is working,” Peridot finally said. 

“Probably not,” Amethyst said. “I don’t know why, though. This is weird.”

This came as a bit of a shock to Peridot. Amethyst had more experience with fusion than she did. If she thought this was strange, then it must be. 

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” she said, trying to assure Amethyst and herself. “We could try again tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Amethyst said. “Do you want to stay with me tonight? We can get some rest and practice in the morning.”

“Sure,” Peridot agreed. She and Amethyst began their trek back to the temple. They chatted along the way, just like they did normally. Peridot tried not to worry about what had just happened. 

Amethyst tried not to think about what it could mean.


	4. Talk

With music still playing throughout an empty house, Peridot groaned, collapsing back onto the couch in Steven’s living room. Amethyst went to turn off the music before plopping down right next to her.

Taking advantage of the other gems being out that morning, they practiced fusion once again in the spacious beach house. A couple of hours passed, and it was clear they weren’t getting the results they had been hoping for.

Amethyst sighed. “How were we able to do it so easily before?” she wondered aloud. Never had she experienced so much difficulty fusing. It was even harder than when she and Pearl used to have trouble forming Opal, back when they didn’t get along so well. There was no reason she and Peridot should be having this much trouble.

There was a pause before Peridot spoke up. “Well, we have been practicing for hours,” she said, sounding a little worn out. “Perhaps we have to be in the right mental state to perform fusion.”

Amethyst glanced over at her. “What do you mean?”

“The last time we fused, we were having a good time together,” Peridot noted. “Now, we keep trying and it’s just not happening. It’s hard not to get frustrated.”

“Yeah,” Amethyst agreed. Perhaps she was right. Their first and only successful fusion had started with them talking together outside the barn. When they started dancing, it just happened, almost effortlessly.

Maybe they needed to stop trying so hard. Maybe relaxation was the key.

Amethyst laid back and stared at the ceiling, trying to think of something they could do. Anything to help the both of them feel better about the whole situation. Then, an idea came to her. _Duh, why didn’t I think of that earlier?_ She thought.

Amethyst grinned, sitting up. “Hey Pear.”

“Yeah?” Peridot didn’t look at her.

“I think I know something else we could try,” Amethyst said. She placed her hand on Peridot’s, resting beside her on the couch.

The green gem looked down at their hands. “Okay…?” she responded, unsure of what exactly her girlfriend had in mind.

She watched as Amethyst propped herself up, moving closer to her and nuzzling into her neck. Peridot smiled and chuckled. “Oh.”

Her girlfriend kissed along her neck and collarbone as Peridot held onto her. Finally, their gazes met for a moment. Then, closing their eyes, their lips followed suit.

Amethyst kissed her very gently and slowly, trying to make it as romantic as possible. Peridot kissed back eagerly at first, but tried to match her pace. She soon found Amethyst’s hands at her waist as the other gem attempted to gain a better hold on her. Peridot moved up to her plentiful hair, tangling her fingers in it. Amethyst giggled at the ticklish sensation this sent through her.

Peridot broke away for a second. “Is this how you intend to fuse?”

“Mm-hm. Trust me, I’ve seen Ruby and Sapphire do it this way before.”

“I like this idea,” Peridot said. Wasting no time, she climbed up onto Amethyst’s lap, straddling her hips. Her girlfriend watched her with interest. Putting her arms around her shoulders, she moved back in to kiss her again.

As they often did while smooching, they quickly got carried away. Peridot nearly forgot what they were trying to accomplish. _Fusing, right,_ she reminded herself. She gripped onto her girlfriend more tightly. Amethyst licked Peridot’s lower lip, causing her to squeak in surprise.

Amethyst giggled, seeing that Peridot was a little flustered. “You’re such a cutie,” she remarked between smooches.

Peridot smiled. She couldn’t argue with that. Leaning in, she and Amethyst kissed some more.

The relative quietness of the room was interrupted by the sudden slam of a screen door. Peridot nearly fell over as the two gems quickly tried to compose themselves, and looked to see who was there.

There was Steven, standing at the doorway. He had his eyes covered, clearly having caught them in the act.

“Uh, hey Steven!” Amethyst greeted awkwardly as Peridot settled next to her. She tried to act normal. “It’s okay, you can look now. We-we’re not doing anything.” She then added a bit more quietly, “Don’t tell Pearl you caught us doing that, okay?”

Judging by his expression and flushed face, he was clearly a little disgruntled. “Look, I’m happy that you two have each other, but can’t you please do that in Amethyst’s room?” he asked, making his way over to the kitchen.

Amethyst ignored the fact that Steven was aware of Peridot frequently spending the night in her room. She didn’t want to think of the fit Pearl would throw if she found out that he knew. “Sorry man, fusion practice kinda got out of control,” Amethyst explained. She quickly realized what she said. “Whoops.”

Steven stopped. He spun around, his eyes lit up. “You were trying to fuse!?”

Amethyst and Peridot exchanged glances. “We already have,” the green gem spoke up. “Once.”

“Can I see your guys’ fusion?” Steven asked excitedly. “What’s she like?”

Amethyst thought about her. “She was like, tall.”

“She was _beautiful_ ,” Peridot added.

The purple gem shrugged. It was hard to say much. “I wish we could tell you more, but we haven’t been able to fuse since that one time.”

Steven was quiet for a moment. “But…you guys are super close.”

“I know,” Peridot said, crossing her arms. “I don’t know what we’re doing wrong.”

Steven thought about their predicament. “Maybe you should talk to Garnet about it,” he suggested. “If anyone could help you with fusion, it’s her.”

“Hm…we haven’t done that yet,” Peridot said. She looked to her girlfriend for her response.

“It’s worth a try,” Amethyst said, simply.


	5. Help

_“For a fusion to work, there needs to be balance. An imbalance can cause your fusion to lose touch with reality, see things that aren't there, and eventually fall apart. That is to say if one of you is falling apart, your fusion will as well. To find balance, you must understand your feelings. To understand your feelings, you must see them clearly without running from them.”_ – Garnet, “Mindful Education”

 

Hesitating slightly, Amethyst finally pounded on the door. 

“Hey G, are you in there?” she called. Silence.

She glanced over to Peridot, standing just behind her. She could tell she was a little anxious as they stood there waiting. Amethyst was feeling it, too. There was no telling what Garnet would make of their situation.

Surely enough, a few moments later, the door slid open to reveal the tall fusion standing there. A bubbled gem hovered in her hand, likely recovered from a mission earlier that day. “Yes?”

“Hey Garnet,” Amethyst began. “We were wondering if we could talk to you about something.”

“Of course,” Garnet replied, gesturing for them to enter the room.

Together, they stepped inside, the door closing behind them. Peridot was immediately reminded of the last time she had been there. In one of her first encounters with the Crystal Gems, she had been briefly bubbled by Garnet and let go by Steven in this very room. To her, the burning room was still a strange and foreboding place. True to its name, it was significantly warmer than the rest of the temple. Large veins ran through the walls. With gems of various shapes and colors were encased in bubbles, floating above them, the room still made Peridot a bit uneasy.

Amethyst sensed this. Taking Peridot’s hand, she gripped it tightly.

Garnet allowed the bubble she was holding to float towards the ceiling, and turned to face them. “What can I help you with?” she asked.

Amethyst exchanged a quick look with her girlfriend. 

“Basically,” Peridot spoke up. “We need some help with fusion.”

Continuing on, Peridot explained the difficulties they were faced with. Amethyst offered up information as well.

“So? What do you think?” Amethyst asked finally.

Throughout the conversation, Garnet had been listening quietly. Her normally stoic expression had softened a bit. She had a basic idea of what might be going on, but she would have to get some more information from them before making any conclusions.

“I’m glad you came to talk to me about this,” she finally said. “Hopefully I can be of some help.”

Peridot and Amethyst instantly looked relieved.

Garnet invited them to sit with her before continuing. The two smaller gems complied, settling on the ground across from her.

Before speaking, Garnet paused, considering where she should begin. There were any number of things that could be going on here, so she decided to start with the basics. “The first thing you need to consider is balance,” she said. “Balance is the key to a successful fusion.”

Peridot nodded. Amethyst simply listened.

“It’s an important part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise,” Garnet explained. “It’s possible that a lack of balance could be the cause of your problem.”

While Peridot thought about this, she was somewhat skeptical. “No, I don’t think a lack of balance is a problem for us,” she said. She glanced over at Amethyst, who nodded in agreement.

“That may seem to be the case,” Garnet continued. “But it’s probably more complicated than that. In my experience, a fusion of love is different from any other type of fusion.” She opened her hands to reveal the two gemstones shining at the centers. “When you’re in love, you feel something that is deeper and more profound than what you’ve ever known before. What you experience is more intimate. It requires you to be more vulnerable.”

As Peridot paid attention to Garnet’s words, Amethyst shifted in position next to her.

“When you love someone, you accept them the way they are. They may have secrets or flaws, but you can see past that. And in the same way, you’re able to open yourself up to them, knowing that they will accept you in return,” Garnet said. “So my question for you is this: are you communicating? Do you take time to talk and listen to one another?”

“Yeah, of course,” Amethyst answered fairly quickly.

“Yes,” Peridot added. It was clearly a no-brainer.

“I mean, do you really talk,” Garnet said. “About difficult subjects. Even about things that might be troubling you about your relationship?”

They both thought about this.  
“I guess so,” Peridot responded. “But I can’t really think of anything that’s bothering me about our relationship. Can you, Amethyst?”

“Nope.”

“How do you handle disagreements?” Garnet asked.

A pause. 

“We haven’t really had any,” Peridot said. “Not in a while, anyway.” Her mind flashed back to when she was a loyal Homeworld technician, on Earth to ensure the completion of the Cluster. Back then, the Crystal Gems were her enemy. She and Amethyst had gotten into a few scuffles in those days, which was kind of amusing to think about now.

Then, of course, there was their trip to the Kindergarten shortly after Peridot agreed to work with the team. Though she had inadvertently hurt Amethyst’s feelings, once she understood, she apologized. And the events that followed led to something she would have never imagined.

Garnet considered what she was hearing. She had a hunch about what the root of their problem might be, and she decided to pursue it further. “Okay,” she said finally. “Let’s take a different approach.” 

Suddenly, her form was overcome with white light. Two smaller, yet familiar, forms appeared. 

Peridot gasped.

“Woah!” Amethyst exclaimed. “Ruby and Sapphire?”

“Hello,” Sapphire greeted with a smile. Ruby waved. 

Though Amethyst had known Garnet for thousands of years, she hardly ever saw her unfuse. It was a small shock each time she saw the two gems that composed her.

The older gem couple gave each other a knowing look.

Ruby cleared her throat. “Peridot, let’s go talk over here,” she said, ushering her off to a far end of the room.

As Amethyst watched them, she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Amethyst, I’d like us to talk as well,” Sapphire said.

“Okay…?” Amethyst was unsure of what exactly they had in mind, but allowed Sapphire to guide her to the opposite end of the room, away from the others.

When the two gems were by themselves, they sat down across from each other. “Amethyst, we’re completely alone over here. They can’t hear us,” Sapphire assured her.

Amethyst listened closely to the others, and Peridot and Ruby’s voices just sounded like faint murmuring on the other side of the room. 

“Can you be honest with me?” the blue gem asked.

“Sure,” Amethyst responded. Though her eye was not visible, Amethyst felt herself under Sapphire’s careful gaze.

“We thought it might be helpful to talk to you two separately,” Sapphire explained. “This is in case you or Peridot are hiding something. Something you don’t want the other to know.”

Amethyst blinked.

“If there’s something that’s been troubling you, you know you can tell me,” Sapphire offered. “Anything. Even if it’s about your relationship with Peridot. I promise I won’t judge.”

Avoiding her gaze, Amethyst toyed with her hair uncomfortably. She allowed it to hide part of her face.

“Is there anything that comes to mind?” Sapphire asked. “Something you wouldn’t want her to know about you?”

The purple gem folded her arms. “Nope.”

At this point, Sapphire knew that they was clearly something on her mind, but it wasn’t going to be easy to get Amethyst to admit it. 

“Amethyst, I know it might seem scary,” Sapphire urged. “But if you want to be able to fuse with Peridot again, you’re going to have to be able to open up to her.

Amethyst felt cornered, yet ready to surrender. She knew Sapphire could see right through her, and there was no avoiding this now.

“Okay fine!” she exclaimed. She inhaled sharply. “I might’ve been feeling off lately because…” she looked away from Sapphire, glancing toward Ruby and Peridot across the room. She whispered, loudly enough that Sapphire could hear her. “I was the one who got rid of Peri’s limb enhancers!”

“Oh. That’s--” was all Sapphire managed to get in before Amethyst cut her off.

“I know she wasn’t on our side back then, but now that we’re together, I see how important those things were to her,” Amethyst explained further. 

It was all the little things she had noticed from spending time with Peridot that had started to wear on her conscience: The tape recorder. The pretend limb enhancers she got from Steven. The tablet he gave her that she had placed so much importance on. Amethyst knew she had kept a foot from her limb enhancers, the one Steven stole and later returned to her as a peace offering. 

Glancing over at her girlfriend, she started to get a little teary-eyed. “She thinks…she thinks she’s useless without them,” Amethyst said, her voice straining. “It’s just been killing me lately! I wish I never threw them out.”

Sapphire took Amethyst’s hand, resting it in her lap atop her skirts. “Thank you for sharing this with me,” she said, giving her hand a squeeze in comfort. “Do you know what you need to do?”

Amethyst sighed again. She wiped her tears with her other hand. “Yeah. But she’s gonna kill me.”

“She won’t,” Sapphire assured her. “Trust me. It will be okay. Your love can overcome this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda funny story. While I had most of the dialogue for this chapter written out, I wasn’t sure about Garnet’s speech about balance and vulnerability in romantic relationships. Then I was talking to a lesbian social worker, and she said basically that exact thing, with similar wording and everything. I was like uh holy shit???


	6. Confession

After they had finished speaking with the other couple, Ruby and Sapphire fused back into Garnet. Left standing at the center of the room were she, Amethyst, and Peridot.

Around them, the large, empty space of the burning room was quiet and still.

“I’ll give you some time to talk,” Garnet said. She then left the room without saying anything more.

Peridot and Amethyst stood there quietly for a moment, neither knowing quite what to say or do. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Amethyst glanced over at her girlfriend awkwardly. What could she even say? She slowly drew in some air, not knowing how to start.

“Per,” she began. Her voice shook very slightly. 

Peridot had been gazing off in another direction, but turned toward her. “Yeah?”

Her eyes fixed on her expectantly. It killed Amethyst inside, knowing that there was probably no way for Peridot to see this revelation coming. For all she knew, Garnet or Pearl had been the ones to get rid of the limb enhancers. There was no way she would take this information well.

“I need to tell you something.”

Peridot knew by the uncharacteristically serious tone of Amethyst’s voice that something was bothering her. Though she didn’t fully understand Earth relationship customs, she had heard others use this tone before, whether in-person or on the TV shows she had taken to watching. It meant something bad was coming.

“Okay,” she said.

“Remember back,” Amethyst began, “When we were kinda enemies? And we sorta...poofed you?”

Peridot was disconcerted by the mention of this. But she nodded.

“About that…” Amethyst said, pausing again. _Ugh, just say it!_ She thought to herself, starting to get frustrated. “While you were bubbled away, I…” she started to trail off, before taking a deep breath in. “…I was the one who got rid of your limb enhancers.”

Peridot’s expression went blank. “You…what?”

“I am so sorry, Peridot,” Amethyst was quick to respond, her voice starting to tremble again. “I wasn’t even really thinking at the time! It’s just that, I didn’t really know you back then. I had no idea how important those things were to you. I never would’ve done it if I knew what a funny, and smart, and awesome gem you would turn out to be.”

Amethyst pressed some gentle kisses on both Peridot’s cheeks for good measure, though she was fighting to keep herself from tearing up. Peridot just stiffened in response.

Pulling away, she tried to gauge Peridot’s reaction. The other gem just stared off, wordlessly.

“Peri? Are you okay?”

The green gem wandered off to another side of the room without another word. Amethyst took off after her.

Peridot faced away from Amethyst, her head spinning. She tried to gather her thoughts. But when she felt Amethyst approach, she had too many emotions welling up within her. She lashed out.

“Amethyst how could you!?” she cried angrily. Tears started to form in her eyes now. “Do you know how many _thousands of years’_ worth of logs I had stored on those? All the data I had collected?”

“Peri, I know--”

“No, you don’t!” Peridot snapped. “You don’t understand! You just _can’t_ understand. Those limb enhancers had my entire life’s work contained on them! And you just threw them away like they were nothing?”

“I’m sorry!” Amethyst exclaimed. “What do you want me to do?”

Peridot groaned, turning back away from her for a moment, still fuming. “Do you know what it was like for me to be _without_ them?” she asked quietly. “Those were the only method of defense I ever had. It was humiliating. Being utterly defenseless against you all.”

Amethyst was taken aback. This wasn’t like Peridot, to describe herself as “defenseless”. She realized she was catching Peridot in a fairly vulnerable state.

Reaching out toward her, Amethyst stopped herself. “Peri, it’s okay,” she said. “You don’t need those things anymore. I like you more without them, and I love you for who you are. We all do.” She placed a hand on her shoulder.

Peridot shrugged her hand off. “That’s not the point! You don’t get it! I just…” her voice trailed off. “…I just want to be alone for a while.”

She headed off. Amethyst watched as she left, the door closing up behind her. The quartz gem was left standing there, alone again, with an incredible sense of guilt. And she had a strong feeling that she had destroyed the one good thing she had.

 

Several hours later, Amethyst made her way over to the barn. With her, a bouquet of wildflowers, freshly picked on her way to the countryside. She had given Peridot some space for the afternoon. But she had a sense of urgency. She had to fix this, and she had to do it now. Before it was too late.

She was surprised to find Lapis already at the barn’s entrance. Her wings were extended, looking as though she was about to fly off somewhere, as Peridot said she often did.

“Lapis,” Amethyst said, hastily. “Is Peri here? Can I see her?”

The blue gem gave her a strange look, lowering her wings. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

“Why?”

“Peridot’s really upset,” Lapis explained in a quiet voice, hoping Peridot wouldn’t hear them from within the barn. “I think she needs to be left alone for a bit.”

Amethyst sighed. “I don’t think you understand. I’m her _girlfriend_ ,” she emphasized, hoping Lapis would understand the significance. “I just wanna talk to her for a second, and then I’ll leave her alone.”

“Listen, she won’t really talk to me about what happened,” Lapis said. “But she said it had to do with you.”

Amethyst’s heart sank. Of course it was about her. But the fact that Peridot confided in Lapis about it...that really hurt for some reason. 

Then Amethyst started to get frustrated. Who did Lapis think she was? She barely even knew Peridot. One minute, Peridot was interrogating her on a Homeworld ship. The next, they were best friends who lived together? Now, Lapis was acting like she knew everything there was to know about Peridot. Like she could make decisions for her.

Amethyst broke out of these thoughts. “Look, if you could just let me talk to her for like _five minutes_ and give her these--”

“I said no!” Lapis exclaimed, angrily. Then she composed herself a bit. “She said she doesn’t want to see you right now. Okay?”

At this, Amethyst was absolutely dumbfounded. But she knew it was probably true. 

“Okay,” Amethyst said, defeated. She let the bouquet of flowers fall at her feet.

As she walked away back toward the temple, the tears started to fall. They rolled from her face into the grass below. Amethyst felt so scared, stupid, and alone. 

She hadn’t expected her first real chance at love would to be so short-lived.

 

Lapis didn’t actually know what was going on, only that Peridot had been very upset when she came back to the barn that afternoon. She pieced together that Peridot’s current state had to do with Amethyst, since she had been going to visit her earlier. And the quartz gem’s persistence just now confirmed it. 

Lapis felt she had to lie in order to finally get Amethyst to leave, saying that Peridot didn’t want to see her. It wasn’t exactly a good thing to do, since she didn’t really know what Peridot wanted at the moment. But it worked.

As far as Lapis knew, Peridot was still laying on the couch in the barn loft, watching reruns of Camp Pining Hearts over and over again. The blue gem decided to fly up and check on her. 

Now, Lapis discovered, Peridot had fallen asleep. She was belly-down on the couch, with one arm dangling over the side. She had never seen her sleep before. Lapis thought absentmindedly that it looked like a nice thing to do, and like something she might want to try sometime.

Lapis quietly turned off the TV. The sky was beginning to darken now. Not wanting to disturb her, she covered up Peridot gently with a nearby blanket.

Lapis perched on an arm of the couch and sighed. Watching her new friend sleep, she hoped that she would be okay. Lapis had strong feelings welling up within her, believing that she knew what Peridot was going through. She began to realize how protective she had felt over Peridot earlier, almost instinctively so. Perhaps it was because she had been in a similar situation not long ago. Or so she believed. She had spent a lot of time on her own trying to overcome it, both the damage she had dealt and received.

It’s so typical, she thought. There was a reason the Diamonds didn’t want them to engage in those types of close relationships. Someone always ended up getting hurt. Or oftentimes, both did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I always wanted this fic, as well as "Close to Her" to address things that weren't really addressed in the show and explore more aspects of their relationship than we are able to see. Like a lot of fans, I feel like there are more to Amethyst and Peridot and Lapis than meets the eye. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and for sticking with me through the long updates! I've just been having a lot of trouble with writing lately and finding the time/energy for it. I always feel like I want to continue this story when I have the time for it, though. I've been working on this story for so long. It's been like two years now? Wild.


End file.
